Not Even Real
by Mrs. HopeEstheim
Summary: Just because she'd written that one accursed line without thinking, Lucy was plagued with doubts she'd never had to face before. How could she possible come to terms with the fact that, in an instant, she'd stopped believing in the existence of love?


**To be blatantly honest, the faintest sliver of inspiration for this fic came to me whilst I was in the midst of reading a well-written Skip Beat! Fanfiction. There was just one line that got me thinking, and suddenly…**_**whump.**_** The idea was sitting there, in my mind, begging to be written.**

**So, here you go!**

* * *

Lucy Heartfilia stirred her tea idly, chin cupped in her other hand as she stared blankly to a spot between a half empty vodka bottle and an entirely full whisky bottle. There was nothing to the spot that drew her attention there—it was a dark, shadowed area that was completely dust-free. Of course it was—it was within Mirajane Strass's domain…and _everything_ she got her dusting rag on glittered like freshly fallen snow.

No, her brown orbs were simply gazing without any intention whatsoever, and the busybody behind the bar had been casting concerned looks in the blonde's direction for fifteen minutes.

Looking lost in thought, the celestial spirit mage withdrew her spoon and placed it gently on the saucer beside her cup—one small remnant of her wealthy upbringing—and took her chin from her hand to lift her teacup in both hands. She took a leisurely sip of her now lukewarm tea and then put it back down, taking a slow, steady breath. It was only then that she decided to face the thoughts that had been plaguing her for a few days now. For the last several minutes, she had been forcing her mind to remain completely blank, even though she knew that wasn't a good way to deal with things. So now she lowered her walls and let all of her thoughts rush in.

In her latest story, her protagonist was rather…different from the type of girl Lucy usually wrote. After all, Lucy was a very childish girl at heart and fairytales had been the food of her childhood. The blonde usually wrote about what she knew the best, aside from the raucous inside workings of the famously infamous Fairy Tail…and what she knew best _were_ fairytales. So her stories had tended towards the princesses and their dashing princes, and dragons and fairies and any sort of marvelous, break-the-curse-with-a-kiss scenario.

Oh, the unrivaled fantasy of a young girl's mind. No wonder she had a hard time finding herself a boyfriend, when this type of story was perpetually in her mind.

_Now is not the time to think about boyfriends!_ Lucy scolded herself, turning her mind back to her current predicament.

Her characters had basically almost always been Mary Sues…now, however, she was slowly coming to terms with the fact that being a one-trick pony would never get her anywhere in writing. Even if she were to publish her stories, she'd have readers stuck on a certain genre and then she'd never get anyone else to read her works. So instead of a princess who waits for true love's kiss…her current protagonist was the exact opposite. Her name was Leona, but she stubbornly went by Leo, kept her hair cropped short, insisted that she could do anything one of the boys could do, and detested the very mention of _love_ because she didn't believe in it. It had failed her mother, so why should she be any different?

And then she'd done it. Lucy had written a line that got her to thinking, and now she couldn't stop.

_Leo couldn't care less about those disgusting princess stories, because _true love_ wasn't even real._

And the blonde couldn't help herself. Her hand had stopped moving, her grip on her pen suddenly lessened and she wondered, _does true love really exist?_ And then her grip on her pen had tightened considerably, to where she wasn't even holding it as though to write but instead she was gripping it as though it were a lifeline. Her childhood was slowly crumbling around her ears, and she was powerless to stop it—she had _caused_ it, because she'd been so immersed in writing her new character that she hadn't realized the words until that line was done.

And she hadn't written another _word_ in the last three days.

Lucy groaned softly and worked her fingers into her hair, clutching her head as though it could make her poisonous thoughts just…_disappear_. It was a foolish notion, she knew, but she wanted it back. Her belief in love, in _true love_…where had it gone? She was only eighteen. Losing her faith in love like this was appalling, when she still had so many years to find her ideal man.

_But when your ideal man is a fairytale prince…_

"Lucy…?" the white-haired woman couldn't help herself any longer. The pitiful, frustrated grown that her blonde friend had let out was enough to make Mirajane glide over and put a gentle hand on the other girl's shoulder. Lucy jumped and just barely peeked up at Mira, and the takeover mage asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," the other girl dismissed, though her voice was mildly strained. "I'm just…struggling with my story, is all."

It wasn't the first time that Lucy had been distraught over writer's block, that was for sure, but even though it was an entirely valid excuse, Mira still had her doubts. There was something…different. There was something so different about Lucy that she couldn't even put her finger on it, and not for lack of trying, either.

But, alas, someone called for some ale and she had to drift away with one last worried glance over her shoulder.

Shortly after that, Lucy downed the rest of her now cold tea, tossed some money on the bar, and slipped off of her stool. Halfway across the room, after hearing a table crack, she managed to duck the flying slice of strawberry cake, and glanced up to see that Laki Olietta had shattered the table Erza had been sitting at, likely because Miki Chickentiger had been sitting on it, teasing her.

And Lucy decided that her timing was absolutely impeccable, because she managed to slip out the doors before Erza could recover from the loss of her precious treat.

Before the doors even fully closed behind her, she heard the telltale sounds of a brawl growing rowdier by the second, and it wasn't even caused by the two usual suspects—Natsu Dragneel and Gray Fullbuster. Lucy had always thought Miki and Laki were better than that…but then again, they _were_ members of Fairy Tail.

With a sigh, this time at the antics of her friends rather than her current internal dilemma, the blonde headed off to her favorite clothing store. She had a few extra jewels left over from paying her rent and buying groceries—for once—and decided it was high-time she get a new outfit. Or maybe a new pair of shoes! It had been a while since she'd bought her boots, and they were starting to show some wear and tear. They'd been through a lot, after all.

…and for that same reason, the blonde couldn't bring herself to buy new boots. Her current pair just had so many _memories_, she couldn't let them go.

So, instead, Lucy slipped to the store next to the shoe store and found, for a reasonable price, a cute new Heart Kreuz single-strap top that was nice and loose everywhere but at her chest, and a nice pair of denim short-shorts, also Heart Kreuz, to go with it. And then, because she couldn't help herself, and because she just loved Heart Kreuz, she added a cute pair of heart-shaped earrings.

With that done, and feeling much better, even though she was ignoring the problem at hand, Lucy hummed cheerfully on her walk back to her apartment.

* * *

The blonde celestial mage had barely opened her door and put her bag down by her sofa when she sensed rather than saw that something was amiss. And it wasn't long before she learned exactly what it was.

"There you are!" a familiar voice cried, almost exasperatedly, as soon as the door snapped closed behind her. Instinct made Lucy look directly at her bed, where she found her guest, unsurprisingly, perched.

Natsu Dragneel sat cross-legged, hands on his knees, atop her fluffy comforter. He leaned forward and looked as if he'd been waiting for her to show up. Lucy fought back her annoyance with him—she'd just managed to cheer herself up, so there was no need to go back into a fit because he was here. So after a few seconds, she looked back up at him and scowled. He was unfazed.

"Natsu, how many times do I have to tell you—"

"Use the door, yeah, yeah, that's not important right now!" he waved her scolding off just as he usually did and then she heard his stomach rumble. At her glare, he had the sense to look sheepish as he mumbled, "I'm hungry…"

"Why didn't you go eat at the guild then, instead of waiting for me to get home?" she said lowly, frowning as she finally stepped farther into her apartment, stalking over to him and taking him by the arm to forcefully pull him towards the door. "You can't expect me to feed you every time you get hungry, you know? Do you realize how much I spend on groceries because of you? So—"

The whole time she'd been dragging him to the door, he'd been protesting, but his voice finally raised and got her attention.

"_I already made dinner, Lucy!_"

She kept going, for a second not understanding. And then she slowed to a stop, turned, and gave him a look that convinced him he had an extra head for a second.

"What do you mean, you _already made dinner_…?"

"It's on the kitchen table!" he waved his arms and pointed through the open doorway to her kitchen. "I waited a while to cook it, so it should still be warm, and I can even heat it back up!"

He kept talking, but she was hardly paying him any attention as she –unknowingly—dragged him towards the kitchen so she could see this strange phenomenon for herself. And sure enough, on the table in an orderly fashion was almost what she'd consider a feast. Amongst the various dishes, which included a whole chicken with a delicious looking glaze and even salad, she spied sushi, ham, deviled eggs, potato salad…and her mouth fell open.

"You didn't," was all she could form. Natsu gave her a confused look.

"Didn't what?"

"You didn't!"

Blinking in his confusion, he looked at the spread. Something seemed to dawn on him, and he quickly cried, "I didn't use your groceries, I promise! I bought it all myself!"

This shocked the girl more, but it did get her to move again. She rushed to the refrigerator and threw the doors open, staring in awe when all of her foodstuffs were still exactly where she had placed them. There was _no way_ that Natsu decided to do this out of the goodness of his heart—he had to have some ulterior motive. Did he want her to go on some ridiculous job that she'd refuse otherwise? Had he burnt her favorite outfit—_again_—and was trying to atone before she found out?

"What did you do?" the blonde whirled around without even closing the doors to the refrigerator. "You had to have done _something_. What is it?"

Natsu had followed her and still gave her a look that screamed confusion. He stepped around her, and while her suspicious look followed him she didn't interfere as he closed her fridge and freezer. He turned to face her then and he said, slowly and clearly, "I cooked…"

At the look on his face, confusion and hurt at her disbelief, she let her shoulders lower and her suspicions faltered.

"All of this?"

He nodded, brows furrowed. Then he did something she hadn't expected of him.

Natsu Dragneel grabbed her shoulder with a firm grip and placed his forehead against hers. Lucy's mouth fell open and she stood gaping like a fish and foundering for something to say while he just sat there, eyes closed, for a few seconds. She began to wonder what in all of Fiore he'd been hoping to accomplish when he pulled back, frowning, and replaced his forehead with his hand.

"You don't have a fever," he finally deduced, letting both hands drop to his sides. He crossed his arms and examined her thoroughly. "I thought you'd get it quicker, Lucy. I'm just paying you back for all the times I came here to eat your food."

Lucy flushed, then blinked, then started laughing.

It wasn't something she could have explained to Natsu, even if she'd tried.

It was just…for a while, she didn't even care if true love didn't exist anymore, and it was all because of him. Because he could be so inadvertently sweet at a time when she was at her weakest and most vulnerable, and because he was just himself, she could forget her inner turmoil.

"Lucy…?"

"Nothing," she composed herself. "Nothing. Let's just eat, okay? You did say you were hungry."

His eyes lightened instantly, and excitedly he sat across from where she'd already taken a seat.

"Hungry? I'm _starving_," he practically moaned at the aromas wafting off of his cooking, and she tried not to laugh aloud as she snagged healthy helpings of all of her favorites present before he could demolish the rest with his bottomless stomach.

* * *

Lucy leaned back contentedly on her couch after she and Natsu joined their efforts to clean her kitchen. For once, she didn't care what Natsu was doing. It had been a while since she'd been so content with herself and her situation. It had probably been since sometime before the S-Class Exam, so it had been over eight years ago technically speaking, since she had felt so truly content.

A nice, full meal, her best friend, and a few moments of relaxation sure went a long way.

But of course, that couldn't last.

"Hey, Lucy?"

"Hmm?" she turned her head towards her bed, finding the pink-haired dragonslayer stretched out, one hand behind his head, one knee up, and a bunch of papers in the hand he held above his face. That was strange, he was reading—_shit_.

"Lucy, this isn't quite right," he frowned, sitting up as she lurched to her feet. He pointed at the last line she'd written. "Why is she so pessimistic? Of _course_ true love exists. Maybe it's not for everyone, but it's got to exist. Her mom just wasn't patient enough."

The blonde was preparing to scream at him for reading her story, berate him for rifling through her things, and she was almost there to snatch the papers from him when what he had said sunk in completely. For the second time tonight, she slowed to a halt and just looked at him incredulously. Of all people, he was the _least_ likely person to have said something about love—wasn't he? Natsu, after all, was Natsu, and love just wasn't his thing.

"W-what?" was the celestial mage's incredibly intelligent response.

"Leo's not that old," he dropped his feet off the edge of the bed. "She shouldn't be so hard on love. I mean, it's not like she should be expecting to find her soul mate or anything, because she _is_ young, but I don't think she should look at it like that. True love isn't something that waltzes up and smacks you in the face like it does in fairytales, not really. Isn't it something gradual, that you don't even realize at first until finally you have to face the truth?"

_What is he going on about?! This is _Natsu_, he's not supposed to know so much about love!_

But oh, was she wrong.

"Where did this come from?" Lucy finally collected her jaw from the ground in an effort to control herself once more. With practiced and controlled grace, she walked over and sat on her bed beside him, leaning over to look at that accursed line for the first time since she'd written it.

"It's something I learned from Igneel," he said simply. "He said that even if you don't realize it at first, when you're in love and it finally hits you, you just _know_. You know?"

He looked at her imploringly, and the blonde just stared blankly at him.

She hadn't known…but _now_? Just one look in his eyes gave her all the proof she needed, and she felt the back of her neck growing warmer and warmer by the second.

"I—uh—yeah, I get it," she managed, mentally berating herself for her lack of intelligence in the face of…of _this_.

Lucy hadn't expected _Natsu_ to be the one to get her out of her funk—especially when it had to do with her sudden loss of faith in the existence of love itself. She hadn't ever thought him capable of baring the situation down to the bones and rebuilding it so quickly that she couldn't help but believe again. She hadn't anticipated the realization that she was in _love_ with _Natsu_ to strike—and it didn't matter whether it was _true love_ or not, because love was love in one way or another.

And it was right then that the blonde knew she would never doubt that love was real again.

The biggest factor of all, though, was that she hadn't realized the dragonslayer was staring just as blankly at her, face unreadable, as the exact same epiphany crossed his own mind.

* * *

**Here's another one-shot!**

**I promise, I'm working on Chapter 10 of **_**Fueling the Fire**_**, though the going is a little slow as I try to make sure I pick up all my strings on the way to the climax of the story. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little spur-of-the-moment piece, and let's just take a moment to appreciate that all familiar facets of this fanfiction are the sole property of the lovely Hiro Mashima.**


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